On the Way to Nowhere
by Card
Summary: The Marauder's last two years at Hogwarts. How did Remus and Sirius come to be together; it wasn't as pleasant as some people suspect. But, when the drama has passed, what worth was there--once Sirius is sent away? SxR and JxR JxLili
1. Chapter da first

Title: **_On the Way to Nowhere_**
    
    Archive: Here, but if you want it, just review and tell me you're taking it.

Rating: Mostly "R" I think that's how it'll stay.

__

**Sirius**

_What was he doing?_ Suddenly, he couldn't really remember. Something had caught his attention, out of the corner of his eye. Something insignificant. A simple gesture really, and it had disturbed the rest of his day. And now, here he was, a pair of pretty arms wrapped tightly around his back, lips trailing down his jaw, and he couldn't remember what in the hell he was doing. 

But what in the hell had those two been doing? Slipping through that hallway, one leading the other with the quiet ease and familiarity that befits only the closest of lovers? Certainly, not even James and _himself_ were _that_ close. 

A moan drew him from his senseless musing, and he looked at the pretty girl who was rubbing her small breasts against his chest so desperately. Some where, he knew, he'd whispered delicious things in her ears, and promised to meet here, while _they _were away. He watched her face, as he held her close and kissed her throat. She looked so pretty like that.

And for the first time in his considerable experience, pretty wasn't enough. _She_ wasn't enough. And he had the sneaking suspicion as he drew her clothes off, that she would never be enough again.

Chapter Da First

James was sitting in his bed, flipping absently through a Quidditch magazine when Sirius stormed into the room and glared at him out of the corner of his dark eyes. His hair was dripping wet and his robes looked as if they had been equally doused. 

"What happened, Padfoot?" James asked. He dropped the magazine, and flipped his legs over the side of the bed, looking at Sirius with concern. More and more recently, his best friend had been like this: black, dark moods that just wouldn't go away. There seemed to be a perpetual cloud around the boy. 

"Rain!" Sirius yelled. "Honestly, Prongs, what else could douse a person?"

James blinked. A plethora of other things entered his mind, but he repressed the urge to point them out. Instead, he watched Sirius pull his robe off and then his shirt and tie until all that he was wearing was a pair of dark pants and his socks. Then the boy looked up, and his dark eyes caught James. For the first time in their life-long friendship, James felt uncomfortable to the point of turning his head away, averting his eyes to escape the look in Sirius'. He felt like he was invading into Sirius' darkness, and that was far worse than anything else he'd ever done in his life. 

"Where's Moony?" Sirius demanded. He tossed his clothes against the wall and pulled on a clean pair of pants, before he flopped on his bed, still clearly annoyed with everyone around him.

"Yesterday was the full moon," James said quietly. He leaned back on his pillows and picked up the magazine again, feeling very vulnerable to his friend. He didn't like the feeling. He'd always known that Sirius was dangerous, of course, anyone with that much talent and that much anger was a danger, but he'd never been on the receiving end of that glare before. 

"Oh. Aren't we going to go see him in the infirmary then?" Sirius stood up and pulled on a robe over his pants, closing it up so you couldn't tell he was half naked. "Come on, Prongs, we must go see dear Moony. He shouldn't be left alone."

James stood and followed Sirius out of the Gryffindor house. He walked slowly, though, watching Sirius greet the people that spoke to him, and watched him flirt with the girls. He could see the clear deflation, the obvious disinterest behind Sirius' seemingly happy front. Something was wrong with the boy. Something was bothering him. 

But getting Padfoot to admit to anything was like getting Remus to admit he had hormones. It could not be done. Although, on many an occasion, Padfoot had gotten dangerously close to getting Moony to react. 

James stopped in the middle of the hall, suddenly full of insight on everything. OF COURSE! He wanted to scream to the top of the rafters and out into the Forbidden Forest. But he didn't. He just scowled heavily, and followed Sirius. Well, screw Padfoot if he thought he could just rush in and add Remus to a long list of worthless affairs. James had been working too long and too hard to convince Moony he was worth something for Sirius to knock it all down in a moment. 

They reached the hospital wing, and Sirius swept into the room, evading the crabby witch and flopped back onto the bed next to Moony. He leaned forward and tickled one of Remus's ears until the boy jerked and then sat up.

"Where have you guys been?" he asked. 

James sat at the end of the bed, shooting a glance at Sirius behind him. The dark haired boy frowned at him, but said nothing in front of Remus. "I was reading," James said, "I thought you would like to rest for a while." It was a lie. James found that he had a startling aptitude for lying. But it was a safe lie, and Remus just smiled at him—the knowledge of the lie safely hidden behind those eyes—and James smiled with him. "Padfoot was out playing the rain. He's running around naked."

To prove this, Sirius pulled open his robe, indecently, and circled a little nub with his fingertip, winking. Remus blushed so badly his ears were pink and he looked back at James. "I suppose it's time we got him that collar after all."

James nodded. "Among other things."

"What other things would that be, Prongs?" Sirius asked. He threw himself on the boy, wrapping his long arms around James' chest and leaning in to speak just behind one ear. 

James was very still in the embrace. He looked at Remus, at how he smiled nervously and looked back at James. Then James rolled his shoulders, shrugging Sirius off his back. "Like a muzzle, for starters. I heard you fought with Severus again."

Sirius rolled onto his back and hooked an arm around Remus' waist. He smiled lazily, easily, and then sighed grandly. "Ah, but dear James, Severus deserved it. He had rudely offended one of our dear young lady's, and I couldn't allow that."

"Whatever. You're just upset he might have a chance to get with someone you haven't gotten to yet." James leaned onto the foot board and watched his two friends. Remus smiled shyly and leaned back on the headboard, inadvertently leaning into Sirius' embrace. Sirius, then, was smiling very purposely at James—as if he _knew_ something he shouldn't have known.

"As if," Sirius scoffed, "Snape couldn't get a girl if he paid her. I was defending her honor. Perhaps you should consider being so valorous."

"Horny, you mean," James said. He grinned good naturedly, and Sirius grinned back. 

"Well, that too." Sirius withdrew his arm and stood up, stretching lazily and showing his flat stomach off, then yawned broadly. "Anyway, the young lady who I saved is supposed to meet me in the library for a little studying, so if you'll excuse me…"

Remus stood up and shrugged into his robe. He waved good-bye quietly, and stiffly. 

"Hey," James called at Sirius' retreating back, "What's her name?"

"Lily Evans," Sirius responded. 

Once he was gone, Remus touched James' arm softly and looked at the boy with a little smile. "So what were you really doing all day?" He waited as James stood, and then took his hand.

"I was resisting the urge to come and steal you from the infirmary. And Peter needed help with his homework." James tightened his grip on the slender fingers around his. He led Remus through the halls, disregarding any looks they received from passers. He didn't care about what they thought anymore than he cared about what Sirius thought. 

"Does Sirius know?" Remus asked. He asked the question as if he were a mile away. He stared into the stone of the walls, and away from James. 

"I think he does now. I don't know how he found out." James shrugged it off. Sirius had a temper, and he hated anyone invading his territory whether it was really his territory or not. But none of them had ever made an agreement not to get involved. It was just Sirius' inborn jealousy and anger that convinced the dark haired boy he wanted Remus. 

"Perhaps he saw us," Remus said. He smiled now, and stopped, pulling James close to him, hugging him, and then they continued on. 

~~~~~~~~~

Hello. I'm very new to this sort of fanfiction. I normally write for anime, but I LOVE Harry Potter, especially Sirius and Remus and James (not peter though. Blech. Although I will be fair to him. he wasn't always bad.) And the whole idea (the one I am currently writing) of the mixed up love affair… 

I couldn't resist.

So, review if you hate it. Review if you love it. REVIEW!


	2. Chapter da second

Title: **_On the Way to Nowhere_**
    
    Archive: Here, but if you want it, just review and tell me you're taking it.

Rating: Mostly "R" I think that's how it'll stay.

__

**Remus**

He leaned back into his pillows and sighed. The night was dark around him, bearing in on him, but he welcomed it, because it came without moonlight. He hated so few things in his life, but he hated the moon. It ripped him away from his life; it degraded him into some beast that couldn't love or feel. It was an odd thing, to come back from that kind of transformation, and see James, or Sirius, standing next to him, holding out a robe, trusting him completely. It was odd, because he felt a rush of love for them, and it contrasted with the beast so greatly. 

But truthfully, he couldn't even distinguish the beast that cleanly. It was always there, hovering in the back of his mind, making him hyperaware of everything that happened around him. James, though smart in many things, was the least observant person he knew. James could be caught with his boxers showing in the middle of a press conference, and he wouldn't notice. But he noticed, just like he noticed Sirius watching them with much more intensity and interest. Sirius was always looking at them now, waiting for the moment they would betray their little affair to everyone.

But, Sirius wasn't going to say anything outright, he would wait, because he could. However angry or powerful Sirius might be, Remus had something over the other boy. He was stronger, smarter, and infinitely more patient. He could destroy Sirius in a moment, because he possessed that one element that Sirius, for all his anger and all his talent, did not.

__

Oh yes, he thought as he stared at the ceiling, _I saw you standing there, looking at us, Sirius. You wanted to be there, didn't you? But you aren't. So don't make it anymore difficult. Leave James alone._

Chapter Da Second

"Really, Padfoot, you could put on some clothes," Peter grumbled. He covered his face with the paper and ignored the half-naked boy that was sauntering through the dormitory. 

Sirius merely grinned, one hand on the towel around his waist, and tsked at Peter. "But think of all the disappointed boys and girls, Wormtail. What would they do without me?"

"Live well-adjusted normal lives?" James said. He was lying on his belly on his bed, reading over a History of Magic textbook. Remus was sitting against the headboard, reading a Quidditich magazine. James absolutely, for no reason, allowed the magazines to leave his bed. Therefore, anyone who wanted to read them had to sit on his bed. 

"I was thinking they would rot in their little repressed balls of sad teenaged life," Sirius retorted. He frowned at James and then dropped the towel to pull on his boxers. 

"Right," James said, "Missing a chance to see you strut around naked is going to ruin us for life."

"Incidentally, Sirius, did you have to give Severus that 'disappearing clothes' curse?" Remus asked. He looked up from the magazine briefly as he inquired, grimaced at the memory of the poor boy's embarrassment. "Now you have Lucius and his followers after us." 

"After _me_," Sirius corrected. He sat on his bed as he tied his shoes. "Besides, Lucius is nothing compared to the Marauders Four, now is he?" With that, he flipped his hair back and ran a hand through the damp locks, smiling charmingly, and then pulled on his robe in a great swoosh before disappearing out of the room. 

Peter uncovered his head and made a noise that sounded too much like a squeak before making some lame excuse so he could run off to watch the girls undress in the shower before he got caught and they screamed rat. 

"Is it just me, or is Sirius getting progressively hornier?" James asked. He rubbed his leg against Remus' and waited for the answer. 

Remus responded by rubbing his leg back and dropped the magazine. "I don't know. But sooner or later they might notice that I've read the same magazine five times. I don't like the sport that much." He leaned forward brushing his hand across James' thigh until the boy rolled onto his side.

"No they won't. And besides why don't you read another one? I have dozens." He motioned towards the stack under his pillow. They were hidden all throughout his bed, and it was a wonder that he didn't wake up in the morning covered in paper cuts. 

"Because I don't like Quidditich. Other than watching you play." He moved forward, lying on his stomach. He ran a hand over James' clothed covered chest. "And of course, there is the added benefit of certain muscle developments. Although, I can't figure out why they would make you seeker when you have glasses…"

"I can see better than most people," James interrupted.

"Of course you can." Remus leaned in closer and smiled. "And you're smarter and faster than most the people on the team too."

"Naturally."

Remus tilted his head to one side, lifted James glasses away from his face and then pressed his lips against the other boy's. James smiled—Remus could feel it—and he wrapped one arm around Remus' waist, pulling him closer. Remus pulled away and kissed him again, softly, again and again. 

And Remus knew, as he pulled James tight against him and kissed him, that Sirius was there, in the doorway. He felt that dark gaze until Sirius turned away and left them silently. And when he finally pulled away from James it was to smile and run a hand down his arm. 

"I need my glasses back, Moony," James said. He took the glasses back from Remus and slipped them back on his face. "And I would love to lay here and…be here with you, I have to study." He kissed Remus one last time, and then turned back to book. 

"Yeah," Remus said absently, "I need to go see what trouble Sirius is getting into." He stood up and winked at James. "But I'll be back." Remus left the room and descended the stairs silently. Sirius was leaving through the portrait when Remus entered the common room. With a sigh, Remus followed the retreating boy. Once into the hallway, he looked around, but he didn't see Sirius anywhere, so he walked quietly through the hallway until he heard the footsteps behind him.

Occasionally, the werewolf found in humorous how his friends constantly underestimated his abilities. Sirius might have found a way to hide, but he couldn't silence his footsteps. So Remus allowed the other boy follow him down the stairs and out into the yard before he turned around. 

Padfoot was there, sitting on his haunches, head cocked to one side. He looked almost as if he were smiling. Remus shook his head sadly and continued to walk with the dog right next to his leg, following closely. 

"You know, some people might eventually suspect something," Remus said. He patted the dog's head and scratched behind his ears. Padfoot was a lovable animal. He was sleek and huge, but he was lovable—and sometimes, Remus though Padfoot was Sirius' softer side. 

"Talking to yourself, Lupin?" Lucius inquired. He was standing there, his blond hair slicked back and gleaming in the sun. He was drawn up, trying to be taller, and looking strangely regal. Severus was standing next to him, clutching his robes as if afraid they might disappear. 

"There is so little good company," Remus replied. He crossed his arms purposefully, and glanced down at the dog next to him. Padfoot was sitting docilely at his feet. "It seems like a waste to speak with someone like you." 

Briefly, Lucius smiled, and then his lips turned down in a sharp scowl. "Really, Remus, you might want to control that wit of yours. It could get you hurt."

"I'm shaking from fear," Remus replied, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to attend to someone more important than you." With that, he looked down at the dog and then motioned Padfoot forward, ignoring Lucius enraged glare. Once they were a safe distance away, Remus looked down at the animal again and sighed. "He has a glory complex from hell, doesn't he? Almost as bad as you." They walked behind a tree and Sirius changed back.

"Wow. I didn't know you were so bold. Now he's going to go after you too."

"Marauders Four, Sirius. That means all of us, not just you," Remus said. He dusted the leaves off Sirius' shoulders.

"Still, that was pretty bold. Not even James could have stood up under that sort of glaring." Sirius grinned maniacally and clapped Remus on the back, pulling him into an one armed hug. "I think I just might have taught you something after all."

Remus raised an eyebrow, smiled slightly, but said nothing. The thought lingered in his mind, though: _now, if only I would rub off on you, we might be okay. Patience and moderation, Sirius, when are you going to learn that?_

~~~~~~~~~

So, review if you hate it. Review if you love it. REVIEW!


	3. Chapter da third

Title: **_On the Way to Nowhere_**
    
    Archive: Here, but if you want it, just review and tell me you're taking it.

Rating: Mostly "R" I think that's how it'll stay.

__

**Lily**

She brushed her hair as she sat on her bed, green eyes closed, humming softly. There was nobody else in the room but her, and she rocked back and forth dreamily. She was struck with a certain sort of guilt, because the boy that she was most often seen with was not the man she had in mind. But she liked Sirius anyway. He was handsome, and dark—and angry. She couldn't figure out who he was angry with, or at. He just seemed to embody the emotion, and thrive off the chaos that it created inside of him.

And so unlike him, there was Remus and James, both collected boys, both balanced. Remus was quiet and intelletcual. Yet, he had a certain edge to him that made him mysterious. James, however, was a klutz of emotions; he wore his heart on his sleeve, so to speak, and it made Lily smile to see James stumble over his own words sometimes. He seemed so full of energy and integrity. And Peter, who tried so hard to be like his friends—any of them—but seemed always to lack that quality that made the other three shine. 

She set the brush down and stood up, smoothing down the skirt she wore, still humming. But her thoughts were focused on Sirius now. He was handsome. But all the girls warned her to stay away from him, that all he wanted was inside her skirt, and once he got what he wanted he'd move on to the next girl. Unlike all the other girls, Lily was not about to let Sirius Black anywhere near her skirt, much less inside of it. Therefore, if he was wasting his time to seduce her, she would have to laugh at his advances—however faux romantic—and deflect his attentions to more worthy endeavors. 

With that firm mindset she nodded to herself, and walked out of the girl's dormitory.

Chapter Da Third

Lily was sitting in the library, pouring over a dusty book, researching for her paper. It was boring, and honestly, she thought the whole library was boring. But James and Remus appeared to love it, they were always in here, looking over some book and whispering together conspiratorially. She looked up from the book every so often to catch them nodding to one another and jotting down notes. Part of her wanted to go over there and demand what they were doing. But she didn't.

She passed an unhappy hour like this, and then a warm arm slid around her shoulder and another head leaned in to grimace at the book. "Looks horribly boring," Sirius whispered lowly. His voice was especially pleasant like this—sincere, quiet and darkly romantic.

Lily smiled and nodded. "It is."

"So why don't you take a walk with me? I know for a fact that the paper is due for at least four days, and it is nice outside." Sirius brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear and waited for her answer, looking almost like a puppy dog, sitting there begging for her attention.

"Alright," she said. With that, she slammed the book shut, shaking dust everywhere, and stood up. People looked at her as she took Sirius hand and walked with him out of the room. She knew what they were saying; she was already giving into Sirius' persuasion, and she would be another statistic. There was even some inane rumor about how Sirius was trying to break a record.

"So," Sirius said, "What's your family like?"

"Are you asking if I'm a mudblood?" Lily asked. She smiled good-naturedly, but Sirius blushed and then stared at the ground self-consciously. She patted him on the shoulder. He was from a family of good standing after all. The Blacks were respected, even they were dying out of popularity. Sirius had a legacy to revive, and many people thought he was capable of that, if he ever learned to apply his talent to anything but revenge.

"No," Sirius murmured, "I was just wondering if they…you know…approved or if you were…"

"I understand," Lily said. "My sister hates me. She's obsessed with normalcy—the worst sort of Muggles imaginable. And my parents are very pleased."

"I didn't know you had a sister," Sirius said. 

"Well, I don't mention her, because she really hates magic of all kinds, and would rather I didn't exist. So, I spare her the embarrassment of having wizards and witches recognize her." 

Sirius shrugged. "I'd give her a pair of pig ears and a hairy back." He kicked a stray rock and strolled beside her easily.

"And that would be why James takes your wand before you get on the train at the end of every school year. Really, Sirius, do you know what would happen if you got caught?" 

He mumbled something that she didn't hear and she bent closer to see if she could understand it. But he just looked up at her, and smiled dazzlingly. "I won't get caught." With that he took her hand again and they walked in silence for a while. They circled the grounds, pausing to watch the Gryffindor's practice Quidditch. Remus was standing there too, gazing up into the sky, his eyes darting around the field rapidly. 

"Can you see it?" Lily asked. She leaned close to Sirius as she looked up too. She saw James circling the field, searching through the wind for the Snitch.

"No," Sirius said. He crossed his arms over his chest and frowned at the whole establishment. 

Lily looked at him curiously, wondering what it was about the sport that obviously offended him so desperately. But there was nothing but hidden resentment. So she just sighed and looked up, searching the endless sky for the snitch. But she couldn't see it. And then she had a sudden respect for James that she previously had not.

"I wish he would catch it already," Remus said. He turned to look at them, smiling enigmatically. He looked bored, as if he'd found the Snitch hours ago and was simply waiting for the rest of the team to catch on. 

"You think you can find it faster than James?" Sirius asked.

"I didn't say that." Remus nodded at Lily, politely saying hello. She nodded back, and smiled shyly.

"Well, I'm sure Wood would let us have a little contest." Sirius strode onto the field and yelled at the obsessive captain of the team. Wood swooped down, frowning a Sirius a little.

"What?" he demanded.

"Remus and I want a chance to catch the snitch before James." 

"You haven't got any brooms," Wood replied. Behind him two members of the team lingered, and upon hearing Sirius' words, they dismounted their brooms and handed them to Remus and him. 

"Now we have," Sirius said. With that he mounted the broom and glided into the sky.

Remus remained though, until Wood demanded: "Why are you still here?"

"It's only fair," Remus replied, and then he mounted and soared into the sky. He reached a sharp peak and then dived quickly, his hand reaching out, and then he closed his fist and stopped abruptly. He glided back down and handed the broom back to the amazed owner. Then he uncurled his fingers and handed Wood the Golden Snitch.

James and Sirius landed behind Remus and clapped him on the back, teasing him and shouting enthusiastically. 

"You see, James, Remus should be the seeker."

James smiled broadly and took it as a joke, but there was hurt behind that smile that was obvious to Lily who was still standing at the sidelines, and perhaps, even more obvious to the boy that was staring at him. Then a frown crossed Remus' face so quickly nobody caught it, and the boy shot an angry glare at Sirius.

Wood was still astonished. He couldn't speak more than to open his mouth, utter a few senseless noises, and then close it again.

"No, James knew where it was," Remus said, "He was just allowing the team to practice." 

Lily helped the situation by gripping James' arm tightly and exclaiming, "My hero; so selfless, so brave!"  
James smirked and bowed regally, but the hurt in his eyes wouldn't fade, even as everyone grabbed their brooms and headed back into the castle. 

"Hey," Lily said looking around, "Where's Sirius?"

"You know him," James said, "He just disappears."

"I thought that was you," Remus said with a wink. He said nothing further, and Lily, wisely, chose not to ask. The three of them walked back to the castle in companionable silence. James and Remus excused themselves at the door though, claiming they had to attend to a certain pet, for a friend, and Lily said good-night and left them in peace.

"Where do you suppose he went?" James asked. He looked around the dark field. And then, he was pressed against the cold stone and Remus was looking at him very seriously, and leaning very close to him. James darted his eyes around, searching for anyone that might see them. But Remus just kissed him, and then leaned in to whisper in his ear: 

"You're the best seeker the team could ask for. Don't take Sirius' words to heart, he wants to hurt you." Then Remus pulled away and took James' hand, pulling him into the castle and away from the dark dog eyes that was watching them too intently.

~~~~~~~~~

THEEXQUISITECORPSE: Remus is my favorite character. And I wanted to portray him in a way that was sort of a cross between the bitter one I read in a fanfic (can't recall the exact one) and the one that is normally portrayed. So, I'm glad you like him. Also, I love Remus-Sirius stories. I rarely read anything else. But I like Jamey too, so I had to be put him in there.

someonelookin Chapters should be posted at least twice a week. I think. It's going to be a loooong ficcie.

Jessica: I think I'm going to enjoy toying with Sirius. And for the most part the Remus-James is non-angsty. 

Tanya Maxwell Thankies; I'm glad you like it.

Review, review, review!!!!! Please please!!!


	4. Chapter da fourth

Title: **_On the Way to Nowhere_**
    
    Archive: Here, but if you want it, just review and tell me you're taking it.

Rating: Mostly "R" I think that's how it'll stay.

__

**James**

The wind was in his face; oppressively. He leaned against the wooden rail and stared out at the Quidditch field. This is where they all watched from. Everyone, those that hated him and those that loved him, all of them—from this perspective. But he was losing his perspective. It was a gradual loss, he realized, but more and more, it was becoming evident. More and more it was becoming hurtful. His soul ached for the old days—for the good days when he was too young and Sirius was too young and Remus was so quiet and so— So… There. Always right there when he was needed, with soft hands and a gentle voice.

But even that… It was becoming so much more difficult than James wanted it to be. He wanted to feel that lighthearted beauty he felt around Remus—all the time. It was like an opiate. He was addicted to those arms, that soft devotion. And he wanted to give it all back to Remus. To pull the boy so close and wash away all those lonely memories, wash away that heatache and the pain. But…

Damn SIRIUS! Damn him as a rake and rounder, as a foul-tempered fool! Damn him for sticking his nose where it ought not be stuck. Damn him for shoving his dark eyes and his stupid smirk into something HE couldn't even understand. Sirius was a lover—he loved to have sex; but he knew nothing of love. So damn him if he thought he even had a chance with Remus.

Still, James turned away from the field and sank down to sit on the cold wooden floor. It wasn't enough to know that he and Remus were together. He wanted more; he needed more. He didn't want to hide in the shadows anymore, he didn't want to hide his affection from Sirius or Peter. He just didn't know what Remus thought…

Chapter Da Fourth

James nuzzled the pink ear again and smiled when Remus made that growl noise deep in his throat and looked at him from the corner of his eye. He loved the feel of the other boy against his chest. He loved the scent of his hair and the way it tickled against James' nose and chin. 

Remus looked over his shoulder, on hand on James' knee and the other holding the book they were attempting to read. "Really, Prongs, if you don't want to read we don't have to." They were reclined on James' bed, with Remus lying between James' legs.

"I love the sound of your voice," James whispered into Remus' ear. He licked the outer edge of that pink ear and wrapped his arms around the slim chest against his. "You could be a professor, you know. And everyone would fall in love with you…" 

Remus smiled and closed the book, tossing it to one side of the bed. He reached his now free arm up to wrap around James' neck. "Really? But what would they think when I disappeared once a month?"

"The same thing they think now." James kissed Remus' jaw, nuzzling the soft cheek and listening to the soft vibrations as Remus growled. It was so beautiful, so personal—so very his.

"Which is?" Remus prompted. He tilted his head to one side to encourage the worship of his skin. 

"You have a mistress off somewhere and you have to go…" James trailed off absently as he continued to kiss down Remus' jaw and onto his neck, nuzzling the flesh and every so often flicking out a tongue to taste it. 

"I've never heard that one," Remus sighed. He stretched. For a moment there was nothing but their breathing and the sound of gentle kisses pressed against soft skin. Remus growled so lowly it was nearly a purr, and James whimpered deep in his throat as his hands ran up and down Remus' chest. They arched into one another, their skin was hot and Remus turned to take James' mouth.

But then there was the thunderous sound of footfalls on the stairs and the door burst open. "I… He…" Peter shouted, and then he fell to the ground and sobbed. His face was red and wet with tears. His chest was heaving, and he was scratching at his face, opening deep scratches across his round little face. Open scratches already ran down his arms and across his neck.

Remus and James jumped off the bed and ran over to his side. "What is it?" James asked. He was nearly hysterical himself.

Remus took Peter's hands and pinned them together. Peter thrashed in his hold, moaning and tossing his chubby head back and forth. "Let me go, let me go. Can't you see them! Everywhere! Can't you see them!" He shouted. And then he started to sob again. His skin was red and irritated, he was trying to rub against anything and scratch at something they could not see.

"It was Lucius wasn't it?" Remus asked.

Peter nodded pitifully. He rubbed his forehead against Remus' robe and cried. Another set of feet ran up the stone steps and burst into the room. Only this time it was Sirius, seething and brandishing his wand as if it were a sword. He gritted his teeth and yelled from deep in his throat.

"Prongs, get your wand," Remus said quietly. He held Peter's hands in one of his hands and wrapped a comforting arm around Peter.

"Everywhere," Peter hiccuped. 

Sirius was pacing the length of the room, muttering darkly to himself. James passed him as he returned to Remus' side with his wand. Sirius watched the two of them with narrowed eyes as James uttered the countercurse to whatever Lucius had cast on Peter. The short boy instantly calmed and he went limp in Remus' arms.

"We have to get them back," Sirius said. "We have to get them back in the worst way." 

Remus patted Peter on the back comfortingly. "We will."

James leaned back against the bed behind him and sighed heavily. "How?"

Sirius smiled broadly. He fell to his knees next to the three of them. He held his wand in one fist and shook from rage and the proposed excitement of revenge. "I have just the thing." With that he nodded his head firmly and stood up again, pacing back and forth quickly. "I need someone to act as bait, and then we can corner the three of them. Think—what is something Lucius could never pass up?"

"A chance to humiliate someone," Peter sniffled. He looked at his arms, inspecting them for the ticks that had been covering his skin before. 

"Precisely, Wormtail. So…we need…something. What is something that Lucius would just jump on?" Sirius began to pace again.

Remus looked at James for a moment and then raised his head, "James."

"James what, Moony? Why would Lucius care about James?" Sirius frowned in frustration and fisted his free hand in the end of his robe, still pacing. 

"What if James had a boyfriend?" Remus stood. "Think of it. All of the school girls want him, and James was taken by another boy. It would give Lucius all the blackmail he would need for the rest of the year." 

Sirius stopped and looked directly at Remus. "And who would be so generous as to act as James' boyfriend."

"I would, of course," Remus said, "He is _mine_, after all." 

Sirius gnashed his teeth together sharply and then nodded sharply, and started to pace again. 

"You two?" Peter squeaked. James nodded in response, and Peter took the boy's hand, shaking it furiously. "Oh, congratulations. You two would be so good together—are so good together."

"Thank you, Peter," James said weakly. He didn't trust his feet to hold him. He'd seen the look in Sirius' face when Remus stood up and spoke those words. Suddenly, telling others didn't seem like a good idea. But he couldn't back down now, he couldn't hide what he was from someone just because he was afraid of the anger of his best friend. So he stood up and took Remus' hand in his own, relying on that strength. "So, what's the plan?" 

Sirius smiled again, still shaking with anger. "Oh, we're going to get them…" He rubbed his hands together, rolling his wand between his long fingers. "James, do you remember the Polyjuice potion?"

James nodded. 

"Allright. All we need is a couple of hairs. One from McGonagall, and one from Pomfrey. Then we trick Severus and Lucius to follow Remus and James, then we freeze them and force them to drink the potions."

"Peter, can you get the hairs?" Remus asked. "It's the full moon, and I have to go tonight." 

Peter nodded quickly, suddenly brave now that his friends were there to stand behind him. But none of them were looking at him. James was watching Remus glare at Sirius. 

~~~~~~~~~

theexquisitecorpse: I'm sorry you don't like Lily; maybe she'll grow on you like fungus… Or not. The story will definitely be long.

Sh: I'm going to cleverly avoid answering yes or no to whether Sirius dated boys. You have to figure that out by yourself

magical me: You'll just have to keep reading to find out… … 

Resident Goddess: I love JxR and RxS tooooooo!

Dewi: Thank you; I will

Review, review, review!!!!! Please please!!!


	5. Chapter da Fifth

Title: **_On the Way to Nowhere_**
    
    Archive: Here, but if you want it, just review and tell me you're taking it.

Rating: Mostly "R" I think that's how it'll stay.

__

**Sirius **

He didn't like the way Remus glared at him, as if the mere, scrawny werewolf could do anything to stop him. But the intent was barely formed, even in Sirius' mind. He didn't know what he wanted to do, only that he wanted to do…something…anything to break up those two that sat so closely together and seemed so happy. They were both his, his—and only his, how dare they try to find happiness together. Remus was Sirius' even more so than James; because James had always been his best friend, and always would be, but Sirius' had changed himself to be closer to Remus. 

So damn them both if they thought they would ever be happy together. They wouldn't. Remus was meant to be with Sirius, and the dark-haired boy knew, even if that werewolf didn't, that everyone recognized that. This little farce with James wasn't going to last. It was irreversibly doomed to fail. Still, Remus glared at him as if he could defy fate and Sirius. But he couldn't. Sirius would win in the end, he would have Remus.

And then there was the quiet, slightly more rational side of Sirius that watched the way Remus could sit so quietly, and wondered why in the hell he thought he deserved someone that soft and that perfect. But even as Sirius watched, he recognized the darkness in Remus as clearly as the werewolf saw it inside of Sirius. They were meant to be together—the darkest of the Marauders—they were twinned and mated from before they first fell into one another on that train. James and Peter could never match the darkness inside of Sirius and Remus, and thus, they could never be happy together. Nobody was meant to be so much as Sirius was meant to be with Remus.

Soon, they would all realize that.

Chapter Da Fifth

James leaned against the wall, his head throbbing, and waited for Lucius to pass by. Sirius had been in an unusually foul mood since the attack on Peter. And it seemed the boy was singling out James to take the brunt of his anger. It was a quiet, covert anger, but it was there, in the way Sirius yelled at him for anything he did—or didn't do. The words echoed in his head: _really, Prongs, did you think Remus would always be there to protect you?_ And it held meaning far deeper than those words. James, like Peter, had fallen to the Slytherins'. He was nursing an awful green and black hairy rash on his back. But the words weren't in reference to his new rash, they were a threat.

"You're pulse is racing," Remus whispered. His hand was loosely around James' wrist, offering a warmth that eradicated all of Sirius' coldness. "What happened while I was gone?" 

The best thing, James reasoned, about being with Remus was never having to verbally say what was bothering you. It was just understood that Remus knew, and would always know. "Sirius is being…"

"An arrogant brute?" Remus offered. He let his hand fall away, and he seemed to leave James' side—not physically—but his eyes lost the look of attentive concern, and he was drifting somewhere inside of himself.

"Yeah," James agreed. He watched people pass by and a thought struck him suddenly. "Hey—did you know that you were voted the most physically attractive anti-social boy?" James asked. 

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Aren't these polls getting a bit specific? Physically attractive and anti-social?"

James laughed at the perplexed look on Remus' face and then sighed. "It's rumored that half the Slytherins admitted to having certain dreams about you that would be considered highly inappropriate."

"Really?" Remus said. He looked suddenly very cold—almost like Sirius in the way he smiled calmly and yet there moved something in his eyes that would frighten away even the bravest of men. 

James nodded and turned to look back in the stream of passing wizards and witches. One caught his eye, and he waved to her—instantly recognizing her as the girl who had been receiving the most of Sirius' time recently. She walked over to stand next to him, smiling brightly. 

"Hello James," Lily said. She nodded at Remus as he turned and walked away and then looked back at James. "I've been meaning to corner you."

James smiled brilliantly, "Really?"

"Yes. I have to write a History of Magic essay, and I was wondering if you would help me out. Sirius told me that you were especially fond of that subject." She rocked on her feet for a moment and then looked behind him. "Were you waiting for someone? And why did Remus leave all of a sudden?"

James turned to look behind him. The Slytherin idiots—Crabbe and Goyle—were standing guard at the entrance to the dungeons. James mumbled something derogatory under his breath and then turned to face Lily. "Could you do me a huge favor and see if you can find Sirius."

"You are not going back there to face those two alone," Lily said, she grabbed his hand and drug him away from the corner. "I know exactly where Sirius is, come on."

****~~****

Remus blinked dispassionately as he was shoved face first into the large wooden door. He heard the group of them behind him—but at least they hadn't gotten James again. He recognized Severus, the boy reeked of indecision and yet a certainty of his own slimy-ungoodness. And Lucius who managed to stink of evil and decay and yet cover it—or attempt to—with as a façade of elegance. Crabbe and Goyle, both stank of gym socks, were left at the top of the steps. But there was someone else there, distinctly familiar, although distant. 

Remus might have smiled, but then the two idiots behind him would have taken it the wrong way. So he grunted when they shoved him through the door and kicked him up against an abandoned table. Lucius passed back and forth slowly, like a cat, and looked at Severus before looking back at Remus.

"It seems you're quite popular," Lucius said.

Remus climbed to his feet and shrugged, dusting his shoulders. He didn't say anything, just crossed his arms over his chest and waited. Eventually, Lucius and Severus would get to the point. 

"I honestly don't see what's so pretty about him," Lucius remarked to Severus. "He seems pretty plain to me."

Severus shrugged. He wasn't really a vicious boy, he was caught up in his hero-worship and determined to make himself look good in front of the self-declared king of the Slytherins. But Remus knew that Severus was quite capable of horrible things. When it came right down to it, Snape was capable of murder—and probably much more dastardly and disgusting deeds.

Which, is exactly what Remus could smell on them both. They were covered from head to foot in the rich stench of arousal and the promise of certain entertainment. Separate, neither of them were really a threat, together they were stupid enough to attempt something. And there was only one way to get them separate. But first, Severus had to get close enough.

Lucius took his wand and then motioned at Severus. "As I understand it, you're always hiding behind your friends. James and the ridiculous Sirius. He fancies himself a threat, doesn't he?" Lucius twirled Remus' wand in his fingers. "But he's nothing compared to what we can do…"

With that, Severus knocked Remus back onto the table and grabbed the werewolf's wrists before Remus could move to save himself. 

"Of course, with Sirius reputation…" Lucius dropped Remus' wand and pulled a knife out of his pocket. "And you're new found popularity, it wouldn't be hard to put two and two together. I mean…" Lucius ripped open Remus' robe and pulled a handful of sweater and shirt up before slicing through them with a knife, exposing Remus' chest and stomach. "It would be a shame for the Gryffindor house to suffer such a contraversy before the House Cup can be awarded. How many points to do you think Dumbledore will deduct for rape?" Lucius grabbed Remus' pants and ripped them open in the front before back up. "Or at least…attempted rape?"

Remus raised an eyebrow and then shrugged. "How many points will he deduct for biting, you think?" Remus asked.

"What?" Lucius demanded.

But Severus had begun to shake, enough that his hold on Remus' hands loosened, as soon as it did, Remus grabbed Snape by the wrist and yanked him around to where he could sink his teeth into the side of Severus' hand. The boy yelped and the screamed as he pulled away with inhuman strength. He wrapped his fingers around the new injury and ran out of the room, screaming at intervals. Too bad Lucius didn't know what Remus was, or that would have scared them both away.

"I'd go get him before he gets too far, Lucius. You wouldn't want your precious Slytherins getting bested by one little Gryffindor." Remus sat up on the table, his robe slipping down one arm. He smiled and his bloodstained teeth made him look ghastly. He stood up, and swept across the room faster than Lucius could get to the door. He grabbed the blond by the throat and pressed him hard against the stone wall. "Lions travel in packs Lucius," Remus said lowly.

Behind Remus, Sirius let the invisibility cloak fall and he frowned, his wand raised. "I'd watch your back from now on," Sirius whispered. Then Remus stepped away, and Lucius ran from the room, in his haste he forgot his knife. 

Remus leaned back against the table again and looked at Sirius. "I suppose I should thank you for allowing Severus to get into the shrieking shack. After all, he might not have run away like a baby without that certain knowledge."

"Anytime," Sirius whispered darkly. He took the torn flaps of clothe and looked into them, at Remus' chest, to see if the idiots had damaged any of the soft skin. 

"I'm with James, Sirius." Remus removed Sirius' hands. 

"You should be with me," Sirius whispered. He leaned in close, flicking his tongue out to taste the blood on Remus' lips and then pulled back, still staring with dark intensity. 

"Soon enough, Sirius, soon enough." With that, Remus fell back onto the table and covered his eyes with one hand, looking very frail and very frightened. 

James and Lily burst into the room, followed closely by Peter who was dangerously close to squeaking with anticipation. "Severus is running through the halls screaming 'Make it stop, make it stop, I can feel it moving.' And Lucius is running after him." James stopped in mid-sentence and rushed over to Remus, staring at the torn clothes and the bloody mouth. "What happened?" James demanded. 

Sirius opened his mouth to say something, but James stepped past him and picked up the Invisibility cloak. The boy shook then, with rage and hurt, and as he turned to look at Sirius, he seemed to growl. "How could you do that, Sirius!" 

"What?" Sirius yelled back.

James threw the cloth and it narrowly missed Peter's head. "Were you in here, watching?" James demanded, "And how long would you have stood there? Huh? Were you in on it? Because honestly, it seems that the only thing you like to do now days is hurt people!"

Sirius growled lowly and then pounced, slamming James against the ground. Sirius held the thinner boy by the neck and pressed him into the ground. "How dare you!" Sirius screamed. "How dare you say that! How dare you think that! How dare you!" He shook the boy beneath him until James' teeth rattled with the intensity.

Remus rolled off the table and grabbed Sirius by the collar, lifting him clean off the floor—and James—and putting him down on the table. Sirius tried to rip away from Remus, but the werewolf glared at him out of the corner of his eye. Sirius clenched his fists tightly and stayed still, teeth grinding in aggravation.

Lily was kneeling next to James, helping him sit up and staring without understanding anything. 

"Now," Remus said quietly, "Perhaps we can explain this better. James—Sirius was outside the room until Severus opened to the door to run out. Secondly, even if he were in the room it would have been worse, because they were trying to frame him. To have him in the room at the time of the…actions…would have been very damning evidence. You know, as well as I, that I don't need to see someone to recognize them." 

James climbed to his feet. "Why were they trying to frame him?" 

"To destroy the four of us," Remus said simply. "And you cannot deny that it would have worked."

James shrugged Lily away from him and turned to leave the room. Sirius stood next to Remus as James left and then Lily. Only Peter was left when Remus turned to glare at Sirius.

"If you don't stay away from James, Sirius, I'll make you pay for every word that leaves your stupid mouth." And then he left too.

~~~~~~~~~

Weldon: Yeah, he was kind of blunt. But Remus already knew that Sirius knew. And of course Peter's slow; he's my least favorite.

Net line sixth lie I'm glad you like it.

Theexquisitecorpse: They are going to get together. Just give me a few more chapters. As you can see, the first distance is put between James and Remus. Soon, Lily will grow on James like fungus too, and then Remus will be a free man.

magical me: sorry it took a bit to post the last chapter. I had it finished, it's just my ISP hates me. They haven't gotten to that revenge yet. Perhaps they will. Perhaps they won't…

Orangina: Do you still think James and Remus are sweet? And that Sirius is the only dark one? 

Review, review, review!!!!! Please please!!!


	6. Chapter da Sixth

Title: **_On the Way to Nowhere_**
    
    Archive: Here, but if you want it, just review and tell me you're taking it.

Rating: Mostly "R" I think that's how it'll stay.

__

**James**
    
    It wasn't that he blamed Sirius, but it seemed infinitely more convenient to allow that conception to be accepted. Even Sirius, himself, had the good grace to stay away. Only Remus would enter the room, quietly, and sit on his bed, mulling over homework and pondering the thing that had been done to him.

James, resolutely, blamed Sirius for not intervening, but he couldn't honestly blame the boy for it happening in the first place. Not even Sirius was capable of something that horrible. Not even with the new found anger and the temper could Padfoot contemplate something like that.

Still—Lucius and Severus, obviously, had. And now Remus was suffering for it. For the attack and for the repurcussions. Because, while Severus and Lucius had ripped his clothes, they had not succeeded in their original intent. But, the fact remained, Remus had bitten Severus.

Why? How?

…the questions exploded in James' head as he watched Remus sit there, very still, on his bed. Because there was something he didn't know about Remus. Something dark that was coming to the light where James was sure to see it. Something all together a little bit too much like Sirius and not nearly enough like the image James had built up. When that unpleasantness festered in James, he thought of Lily, and it calmed him. She was so sweet, and soft—so much like what Remus had been to James just days before.

Chapter Da Sixth

Remus stepped into Dumbledore's office and sat in one of the chairs. He waited patiently, his head tilted slightly to the left as he watched Fawkes clean his feathers. He'd been in this office so many times he had the place memorized. But this occasion was a bit different than any other. His clothes were shreded, his pants had nearly fallen off five times on his way here and his mouth still tasted like blood. 

"Remus," Dumbledore said gravely. He appeared at he stairs in his office and walked down them slowly. "I have heard something very interesting." He paused for a moment, his eyes appraising Remus for a moment before he continued. "It seems that Severus was with Madame Pomfrey, complaining of a bite. I must admit the poor boy was quite overwrought with pain and worry. He seems to think that now he will be a werewolf."

"You can't be made into a werewolf unless you are bitten after the transformation. Even Severus has to realize that."

"Still," Dumbledore said, "It was a cruel joke."

Remus said nothing. He wasn't about to explain the circumstances. He would allow Dumbledore to believe him capable of something so stupid and base as biting someone as a prank. It didn't bother him. As long as the old wizard didn't kick him out of the school, he'd bear whatever judgements. 

"Perhaps it wasn't a joke. What happened to your clothes, Remus?"

"Sir…" a very frazzled witch said bursting into the room. "There is a very insistent Sirius Black out here demanding he be let in. He seems to think that Remus if very fragile and traumatized although he won't explain."

Remus said nothing.

"Let him in," Dumbledore said.

Sirius swept past the witch, frowning at her, and dropped a new robe on Remus' lap. "I thought you might be a bit more comfortable if you could make it back to the dorm room without showing anything." Sirius leaned against the chair and looked at Dumbledore gravely.

"Why do you believe that Remus has been traumatized?"

Sirius glanced down at Remus. Remus simply shrugged. "You see," Sirius started, "Those ignorant snakes attacked Remus. They were going to frame me. They were going to say that I raped him." Sirius raised his hand and dropped Lucius' knife on the desk. "There's blondie's knife."

"And Severus?" Dumbledore inquired.

Remus shifted slightly in his chair, but said nothing in his own defense. Sirius frowned, and then stood up straight and cleared his throat. "I wasn't in the room while the…events were occuring. I found Remus and Lucius after Severus took off screaming."

"I see," Dumbledore said, "Well… I must think on this. You two, go back to your dorms." 

Sirius helped Remus get out of the chair, making him appear weak and hurt. They walked close together as they left the room and Remus shrugged into the new robe, closing it around his slashed clothes. He walked next to Sirius for a long time before he stopped abruptly and shoved the boy into an abandoned hallway.

"What are you doing?" Remus demanded.

"Protecting my friend."

"Where's James?"

"I don't know. He took off with Lily, remember? You didn't see him up there defending you. I know you Remus, you'd just let Dumbledore think whatever he wanted."

Remus sighed and turned away. "Sometimes, you're too much to handle." Then he walked away without explaining himself.

Sirius straightened his robes and roamed around the halls for a while. There was nothing for him to do. Both Remus and James were probably in the dorm room, and neither were inclined to see him at the moment. So, instead, he walked aimlessly.

"Hey, Sirius!" Lily yelled. She ran over to walk next to him for a moment. "I needed to ask you something."

"Yeah?" He asked. He didn't even look at her.

"I was just wondering…I feel so bad for asking this, considering what happened…but are James and Remus really…_serious_?"

Sirius snorted. He didn't know the answer to that question. He knew that Remus was loyal to his friends, he knew that the boy would protect James from anyone that presented a threat, but he didn't know if it was going to last. Probably not considering Remus had basically guaranteed that he and the boy would be together. "I don't know. I don't think so. It's more like a passing fling for James, I think."

"Well, what about Remus?" Lily asked.

Sirius stopped and turned to look at her. She looked so serious, and tortured as if she was immensely guilty for the whole thing and somehow everything that was about to happen was her fault. "Remus is… No," he said finally, "Remus doesn't think it'll last for very long." 

Lily nodded to herself and smiled, "Well thanks…" She turned to walk away but Sirius stopped her. He looked at her pretty face for a moment and then kissed her cheek.

"Don't blame yourself, Lily. Remus and James were drifting apart long before this happened. You and James…" He trailed off for a moment. "I think you two would make a great match."

She blushed. And then nodded before walking away. 

~***~

"You know, James, eventually we are going to have to talk about this," Remus said. He sat on his bed, but turned to look at the pensive boy.

"I don't want to."

"All right, then I have something to tell you." Remus cleared his throat. "As you might know—or not—werewolves are believed to mate for life. Fate, of course, plays a big role in that mating. And I have come to realize, over the past few days, that you and I are not meant to be forever."

James sat up slowly and blinked behind his round glasses. He looked confused for just a moment and then attempted to say something.

"I've seen how you look at Sirius, and how you look at Lily. I understand, James. I know that you understand. But you can't let this tear us apart."

James crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. "Why not? Sirius has been after you since he found out about us! And what does it matter how I look at Lily, I'm with you!"

"It matters," Remus said patiently, "Because you're _meant_ to look at Lily like that, and you're not _meant_ to be with me. And as for Sirius…he's been after me since puberty. He just didn't have any competition until recently."

"So what now?" James demanded cruelly, "You're going to run to him and mate?"

Remus raised a careful eyebrow and then sighed. "No. Not directly. Sirius is far from ready for a relationship."

"But…" James stopped and ground his teeth together. "What will happen to all of us?"

"I suppose we will forgive each other and continue to be friends, or we will let this get the better of us and pair off."

James didn't say anything. He stood up, still grinding his teeth, and stormed out of the dorm.

~~~~~~~~~

comment in general: 

Hey, I'm really sorry that it's been so long since I updated. It's been hectic…let me tell you. But the updates should be regular from now on. Probably on Tuesdays and Thursday/Fridays. 

Thank you for the reviews, I'm so glad everyone likes my Dark Sirius and Remus. I'll respond to the reviews in the next chapter.

Poll (polls are like my signature, I have one at the end of every chapter.): which do you want to see: More Sirius/Remus involvement or do you want the Marauders Four to get back at a certain slimy duo?


	7. Chapter da Seventh

Title: **_On the Way to Nowhere_**
    
    Archive: Here, but if you want it, just review and tell me you're taking it.

Rating: Mostly "R" I think that's how it'll stay.

__

**Remus**

Every so often, he could see Sirius looking at him. He felt the heated glance when he sat in potions and allowed the warmth to keep him from freezing when he crossed the yards. But the possessiveness had taken a toll on him. He'd grown too comfortable, too safe in that gaze. The world couldn't touch him, because Sirius was always there, growling lowly and staking a claim that he hadn't made yet.

Remus hadn't even offered that claim to Sirius, and while he luxuriated in it, he could not bring himself to allow that sort of bond to be made. Sirius was too uncontrolled, too absolutely passionate with anger. That part of him must be calmed, and when it subsided—then, and only when he was sure—would Remus allow that bond.

Not before. And as he sat, wrapped safely in the robes that smelled so richly of Padfoot, in the clear winter air, he realized that the bond may never have a chance. Because Sirius was too volatile. Even now, as Remus was bleeding, propped against a tree; even now as the full moon rose in the dark sky, a fire raged and burnt the snow and James came running across the open grounds, as Severus stepped back once…twice… 

Even now…

Chapter Da Seventh

"Hagrid let me keep her in here," Sirius said. He fumbled with the lock for a moment, cursing his stupid decision to get a lock that was absolutely spell proof, and turned around helplessly to glare at Remus who was standing there with a bare smirk on his face. James looked a little green, even with the lovely Lily wrapped in his arms. Peter, as usual, was squeaking at James' elbow, peering between the tall bodies around him. 

"Her?" James inquired. 

"Yeah…" Sirius said happily. His breath steamed in the cold air and he rubbed his ungloved hands together. Christmas had passed, and they found themselves all together again. James shook his head sadly to himself and wrapped himself tighter around Lily. She had the foresight to wear pants on this excursion. "She's beautiful," Sirius finished.

James glanced sideways at Remus. "Is _she_ alive?" 

Remus shook his head. "No. Doesn't smell like it's alive." He pulled his gloves off and gave them to Sirius, who promptly pulled them on, and then Moony neatly opened the lock. He handed the heavy metal thing to Sirius, and stepped back away from the door—just in case he was wrong, and it was alive.

"So you have a really keen nose, then?" Lily asked. She raised her eyebrows and tapped a foot in the snow. All three of the friends stared at Remus for a moment but the boy shrugged.

"Mishap with a potion many years ago," he lied, "Have the best nose in the world, now." This lie, apparently, pleased Sirius greatly for he threw his arm around Remus' back and kicked open the door. There, in the dirty shed, was a black motorcycle. It fit Sirius so perfectly that four of them were silent for a moment, wondering how muggles had managed to capture the essence of the volatile Black in a simple machine. 

Peter summed up the shock in one word: "Wow."

~***~

Lily snuggled into the couch and smiled at him. She, too, had a book and was opening it as she spoke: "So why are you with your friends, buying butterbeer?" 

Remus said nothing for a moment and then set his book aside. "This place has many ears, Lily. And I believe we both know why I am not there, with them." He inclined his head to motion out the window. Already the skies were beginning to gray, and he would soon take leave of her to go down that passage to the Shrieking Shack. "Officially, however, I am leaving James and Sirius to restore their friendship."

"Nobody could have expected them to stay angry with one another," Lily said sensibly, "After all, James and Sirius have known one another for all their lives." She licked her lips nervously. "I was just wondering… Did I have anything to do with you two breaking up… You and James?"

"No." Remus marked his place in his book and stood up to return it to his dorm. He looked at her for a moment as he passed. He could smell the uncertainty on her. "If it will put your mind at ease, Lily," He said as he climbed the stairs, "James and I parted ways because I had developed feelings for Sirius. And we are all better for that, I believe."

When he returned to the common room, she was gone. He sighed to himself and pulled on his warmest robes. The castle never seemed so cold to him as it did when he walked through the halls that day. Almost everyone had gone home for Christmas. Unfortunately, though, Lucius and Severus were not among those that had gone. And he smelled them, in the hall around him. 

If he had an extra moment, he might have been able to avoid the confrontation, but they blasted him in the back with a disabling charm, and he fell to the floor, numb and unable to move. It was Goyle and Crabbe who picked him up and carried him after the blond idiot and the slimeball, though. He tried, futilely to struggle, but the charm held. So he waited until he felt the first blast of frigid air hit him, and then he tried to see anything around him.

As the charm faded, they tossed him against the thin wall of the roof. And he was leaning backwards into the brick, fully aware that another inch would mean the end of his life forever. 

"It seems," Lucius said, "That my father received a letter that informed him of a most distressing thing. You see, he tells me that Dumbledore wrote him and said I was assaulting other students." Lucius pretended to ponder this for a moment, and then frowned strongly. "He, much to my astonishment, seems to believe Dumbledore."

"How sad for you," Remus said. He stood up. The air was cold against him, and he stepped back, close to the edge. He stepped up, onto the ledge, saw them gape in open amazement. 

Severus turned to Lucius and implored with him: "Please, Lucius, don't do this! You don't know what he is…"

"Filth," Lucius spat.

Remus smiled, felt all the open air beneath him. "Better filth than Slytherin." And then he stepped back off the roof…

~***~

Technically, Lily wasn't allowed to apparate. But she did so anyway. Maybe Remus had known she was there, maybe he was insane (which was quite frankly the angle was most inclined to agree with) or maybe he was just suicidal. But she saw him step up onto the roof, she stared up at him for all of a moment, and then apparated straight to the table Sirius and James were dancing on.

The whole bar nearly fell over when she appeared on the table next to James. She grabbed at his arm to steady herself. Sirius, however, was so astounded that he fell backwards off the table. She spun around and hissed at him: "Remus is on the roof!" She made motions with her hands, but they were effectively meaningless. "At Hogwarts," she said at last.

"So?" Sirius demanded. He stood up and rubbed his sore ass.

"So…" Lily hissed, "It's getting dark, and there's a full moon, and I don't think he's up there alone!"

With that, Sirius frowned so sharply he actually scared James so bad the boy fell off the table, taking Lily with him. When they recovered from the heap, Sirius was gone. 

"Let's go," Lily said. She grabbed James by the arm and yanked him after her, out into the cold air. James, being the good perfect, had never bothered to break the rules when it came to apparating. He had not mastered the art like his friends. So she ran with him, all the way back up to Hogwarts. 

~***~

Snape was a vicious, ugly boy, but he was not a killer. Not even when it came to his arch-rival, and the person who had humiliated him and his friends. He knew, as well as Lucius, that they had gone up to that roof to kill Remus. But the boy had jumped! He had jumped off the damn roof. Nobody in their right mind would jump off a roof!

So Snape was running down the stairs, the mantra in his head repeating incessantly: _He's a werewolf, he's a werewolf, he's a werewolf…_

But that didn't matter. Because if Remus died, then Sirius would kill him and Lucius, and probably a few other Slytherins just to even the score. And, Snape shrank in his robes, Sirius wouldn't give them a quick death. He'd make it painful. Snape made it down the stairs and ran out the doors, charged through the field. 

There, in the distance, near the edge of the Forbidden Forest, was a fire that raged into the night air. Standing, outlined in all his dark glory, was Sirius. Snape looked behind him. James and Lily were running hard to get to him. But Sirius was closer, faster, and infinitely more angry…

But, Remus was nowhere.

~~~~~~~~~

theexquisitecorpse: I don't know so much about the sex. Maybe. I generally write lemons, but I don't know if I want to risk getting the story kicked off ff.net because of the ridiculous restrictions. Yes, Remus is free. Lily is safely in James' arms and now Sirius is… Well, he's a bit enraged at the moment, isn't he?

Dark Peppermint: I like your name. Thankies for reviewing at all. Honestly someone who reviews and just left an ! would make me happy. 

Harle-chan: The s/r stuff is a-comin' 

Anime Queen Omega: I'm glad you like it. Plan to update regularly. (hopefully Ff.net will let me.)

Michelle: I love Sirius and Remus almost any way you can give 'em to me. But I particularly like them just a tad darker.

magical me: I agree, there was a certain kind of darkness that was shared by both of them. For instance when Sirius and Remus are going to kill Peter in book 3. 

sh I'm glad you enjoyed chapter 4&5. I like Sirius' possessiveness too.

Poll: Anyone curious as to _where_ Remus is? Anyone have a guess?


	8. Chapter da Eighth

Title: **_On the Way to Nowhere_**

Archive: Here, but if you want it, just review and tell me you're taking it.

Rating: Mostly "R" I think that's how it'll stay.

**Remus**

Every so often, he could see Sirius looking at him. He felt the heated glance when he sat in potions and allowed the warmth to keep him from freezing when he crossed the yards. But the possessiveness had taken a toll on him. He'd grown too comfortable, too safe in that gaze. The world couldn't touch him, because Sirius was always there, growling lowly and staking a claim that he hadn't made yet.

Remus hadn't even offered that claim to Sirius, and while he luxuriated in it, he could not bring himself to allow that sort of bond to be made. Sirius was too uncontrolled, too absolutely passionate with anger. That part of him must be calmed, and when it subsided—then, and only when he was sure—would Remus allow that bond.

Not before. And as he sat, wrapped safely in the robes that smelled so richly of Padfoot, in the clear winter air, he realized that the bond may never have a chance. Because Sirius was too volatile. Even now, as Remus was bleeding, propped against a tree; even now as the full moon rose in the dark sky, a fire raged and burnt the snow and James came running across the open grounds, as Severus stepped back once…twice… 

Even now…

Chapter Da Eighth

Anger could not accurately describe the wealth of rage that blew up inside of him. It was as if someone had reached down into him and ripped open something he had fought so hard to keep silent. Coming from a family of Slytherins provided him with a dark knowledge of how far a Slytherin would go for revenge. But Sirius had never thought the stupid asses would go so far as to challenge him in such an outright way.

Yes, the sorting hat put him in Gryffindor; but he wasn't a do-gooder with no clue how to stand up for himself. He wasn't burdened with the sort of integrity that prevented James from lashing out at those that attacked him. Sirius was fully capable of anger, fully capable of revenge, and at that moment, he was more than happy to deal it out as best as he knew how. Because those assholes had attacked Remus. Because if he hadn't gotten there, flying on the motorcycle, to catch Remus then the boy would be dead.

The forest exploded in flames when the motorcycle careened out of control. Sirius had thrown Remus and himself off before the impact, but Remus was still bleeding and anger the likes of which had never been felt before burst out of the dark haired boy. He propped Remus up, bent forward to kiss him, and then turned to face the sniveling little waste of skin and bone that was running towards the fire.

Snape stopped, stared and tried to back up. 

"Ready to die, Snape?" Sirius growled. He was holding his wand, amazingly, and he was shaking in fury. Every muscle in his body was taunt, his face glistened with sweat from the heat and the rage. Somewhere, as if from a whole different world, he could hear James screaming.

"I… I…" Snape was barely standing, moving backwards like a worm. Like a worthless snake, and Sirius only grinned. 

Yes. Death would come.

But before he could deal it out, before the words escaped him, James was there, in front of Snape, protecting the sniveling weakling. "Stop it," James said. His chest was heaving and he was red everywhere.

Then Lily was there too. "It's a full moon," she whispered. 

Anger dissipated. Only enough that Sirius sneered at the crouching wimp behind Prongs, and then he turned. "Get inside then." He ran back into the forest, past the fire, to where Remus was sitting. Amber eyes stared at him, a pale hand rose and touched his face, drawing Sirius down, closer. Then lips, and a warm mouth. Comfort. Remus wrapped an arm around Sirius and pulled him tight against him. Warm breathes caught between them, and a single heartbeat.

"We need to get farther into the forest," Remus whispered. 

Sirius nodded, and pulled Moony to his feet. They struggled. Sirius carrying Moony, watching him twist in pain as the moonlight broke through the trees and the full force of the change lingered just on the edge. Then, when Sirius heard flesh start to tear, he set Remus on the ground and with a barely conscious thought changed himself to suit his mate. 

***~***

Morning rose, and shed its light, but there was no warmth. Padfoot curled himself around Remus and offered the sleeping, naked boy all the warmth of his fur. Dogs temperatures were naturally several degrees higher than humans, and that blessed little fact was all that stood in the way of Remus dying of exposure as he slept off the morning-after sickness from the werewolf extravaganza the night before.

"Would you have killed him?" Remus whispered, without even opening his eyes. His hands tightened in the long black fur that was all around him, but he didn't move otherwise.

Padfoot licked his hand in response, and when the amber eyes opened to look at him, the answer was there in the dog's face. No doubts; Sirius would have leveled the bastard to the ground if Jamey hadn't been there to stop him. 

Remus forced himself to sit up and hissed at the scrapes on his back and the lacerations across his chest. "Lets go to the Shrieking Shack," he said. "It's too cold here."

Sirius changed back and stood with him, pulling his own robe off and offering it to Remus. "Take it. I've got clothes on at least." Then he wrapped an arm around Moony and supported him as they picked their way through the underbrush of the forest. 

Remus tripped on a fallen branch, cursed and fell to the side, accidentally pinning himself against a tree with Sirius pressing against him. He smiled, despite the throbbing pain in his recently abused foot, and leaned forward the scant inches to press his lips to Sirius'. tongues met, and Sirius' arms dropped from around his shoulders to around his waist as hands moved against his chest. Sirius pulled away from the kiss, and lowered his head to kiss Remus' neck. He pushed the robe back to expose the chest, and dipped his head to lick the long scratches.

Remus wrapped his hands in Sirius' hair and pulled the long silky dark strands tight, hissing and without even meaning to, pressing his whole body forward into Remus. He moved without meaning too, in a primative rhythm, seeking the warmth of his mate. Growls rumbled through his chest, and he yanked Sirius' head back up to kiss him. Teeth clashed, Remus bit his lip and sucked on the blood even as he twisted the hands in Sirius' hair tighter, making the boy hiss in pain. Sirius's hands were around his waist, on his hips, squeezing his ass, pulling him closer and guiding him in the rhythm. 

Sirius shuddered, panted against Remus' shoulder when the death-grip on his hair loosened. He nuzzled the smooth clean skin of the boy's neck. Licked the area, and then when Remus wrapped his legs around him, and pulled his hair again, Sirius bit him, sinking his blunt teeth into skin until there was blood. 

The world could have exploded around them and the pair would not have noticed. Remus growled, like an animal, and ripped Sirius' shirt, exposed the skin of his neck, and sank his teeth in the tanned skin.

***~~***

Dumbledore questioned, and Snape hung his head but spoke answers. Not enough to indict his fellow Slytherins. Not enough to implement Lucius, but enough so that Sirius and Remus wouldn't be punished at all. The fire was an accident, and though it damaged a vast part of the forest, it had not hurt any students. Remus was not hurt by his swan dive off the roof, and the Slytherins were free to go without punishment.

Severus sneered as he walked back to his dorm. Bitterness welled in him that once more he had been face to face with those so called Marauders and once again he was too much a coward to stand against them. What good was it to know dark curses if you were too much of a wimp to use them? 

He spoke the password to the portrait and it opened. The common room was empty except a silvery-blond man standing in front of the fire. Lucius turned to look at him with as much disdain as a man could possible ever hope to attain. Then he strode across the room and smacked Severus with the back of his hand. Never hard enough to leave a bruise, but hard enough the meaning was not mistaken.

"What did you squeal this time, Severus?"

"Nothing," Snape spat.

The slap again, followed by the soft feeling of perfectly manicured fingers touch him. Soft and smooth, running down his pinkened face. "You realize I don't believe you."

Snape ducked his head in acknowledgement. The fingers moved under his chin and forced him too look at Lucius.

"And you realize that you must make amends for this?" Lucius turned his back, moved like a king, floating away and then he sat in the oversized armchair, looking every bit the self-proclaimed ruler of the Slytherins that he was. He did not speak but the command was there nonetheless. 

Snape shuddered in revulsion. Felt his own weakness and his own worthlessness. But he did not disobey. Severus was no fool. There was no benevolent headmaster that looked over Slytherins with a twinkle in his eye and a deep understanding for their tomfoolery. There was no Marauders Four to protect him from this degradation. Just himself and if he wasn't strong enough to resist it was humiliation after humiliation. True; he could resist, refuse and Lucius would smile at him, complement him on the backbone he had grown. But then fear would become a way of life for him, and he would lay in bed at night, knowing what was coming but not when. Then, just as the fear was assuaged, when he felt safe, Lucius would always be there to remind him that no one was safe.

So Snape moved across the room, bowed his head and fell to his knees before Lucius. Perfect long legs opened before him, and a bored sigh was all the encouragement he received. 

Lucius laughed at the boy and then, with a sneer he commanded: "Convince me."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***

Sorry about the forever delay.

Review please. I'll be good. I'll update. Swear!


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